it’s not fair

IT’S NOT FAIR

i really want to stay for dead week

why does princeton have to have such a crappy schedule?  first of all our summer starts so late that my internship is bound to expect me to come immediately.  secondly, appa starts summer school on june 9th and my family wants to spend some time together on a trip together somewhere nearby.  if i go on june 4th like i originally planned, it gives me no time to spend with my family.

that means i have to leave during dead week.

i’m so frustrated i could cry.  i’ve never stayed for dead week and i really want to.  julia talks about it all the time and how much fun it is.  i was really looking forward to this year so that i could stay and enjoy free time AT PRINCETON with my friends.

this year’s timing sucks.  i’m missing eumin’s graduation (EUMIN’S GRADUATION!!!) because of damn finals and i can’t even stay for dead week.  and i have to pay (probably a lot) extra to change my freaking plane ticket.

i hate you princeton i hate you i hate you i hate you

first you make me not sleep and stress eat like crazy (okay, no one makes me do that except myself… and my family’s genes, hahaha) and freak out about damn papers, and NOW THIS!?

i’m so close to crying.  (julia just guilt tripped me.)  is it because of the lack of restful sleep or the stress or because i’m really upset about this?

…

oh boo hoo, sumin, your life is so hard.  suck it up.

escapism

I just discovered the song “Pocketful of Sunshine” by Natasha Bedingfield (through an online commercial!  whaddya know). I really like it, very catchy, upbeat.

But the lyrics are so escapist… I don’t agree with them at all. No matter how far you run away, where you go… I mean, you have to deal with yourself, and that’s one of the hardest things to do, confronting yourself. There’s no way to escape yourself. In the end, you have to face yourself… and God.

I’d rather not be taken away–even with all the dean’s date stress and crap… I like where I am.

“Pocketful of Sunshine” – Natasha Bedingfield

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it’s all mine.
Oh, oowhoaoh.

Do what you want, but you’re never gonna break me.
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
Oh, oowhoaoh.

Take me away! A secret place!
A sweet escape! Take me away!

Take me away! To better days.
Take me away! A hiding place!

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it’s all mine.
Oh, oowhoaoh.

Do what you want, but you’re never gonna break me.
Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
Oh, oowhoaoh.

I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine.
I got a love, and I know that it’s all mine.
Oh, oowhoaoh.

Wish that you could, but you ain’t gonna own me.
Do anything you can to control me.
Oh, oowhoaoh.

Take me away! A secret place!
A sweet escape! Take me away!

Take me away! To Better days!
Take me away! A hiding place!

There’s a place that I go,
But nobody knows.
Where the rivers flow,
And I call it home.

And there’s no more lies.
In the darkness, there’s light.
And nobody cries.
There’s only butterflies!

Take me away! A secret place!
A sweet escape! Take me away!

Take me away! To better days!
Take me away! A hiding place!

Take me away! A secret place!
A sweet escape! Take me away!

Take me away! To better days!
Take me away! A hiding place!

Take me away! A secret place!
To better days! Take me away!

Take me away! To better days!
Take me away! A hiding place!

The sun is on my side.
Take me for a ride.
I smile up to the sky.
I know I’ll be all right.

The sun is on my side.
Take me for a ride.
I smile up to the sky.
I know I’ll be all right.

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patience

patience patience patience please oh please patience

and remember, this isn’t for me

this isn’t for you

this is for God’s glory!  ha.

and let’s not get frustrated at others, they’re in the same boat as i am. it’s not that big a deal… it’s not it’s not it’s not.

and i really don’t have that much for dean’s date, i honestly don’t.  if i just buckle down and do it, i’ll do it.  unfortunately i’ve wasted four hours today, but oh well, it’s only 6pm, there’s a lot of time to make up for my mediocrity.  let’s not get frustrated.

patience, patience, patience.

ps.  pray for umah and appa… they need it so much more than i do

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